Happy Mental Health Awareness Month,
Disclaimer: I am not a professional therapist, holistic coach, counselor, mental health worker, pastor etc. I am simply someone who likes to share their wisdom through their own experiences on certain topics that I went through or have overcome. It's a tough topic, that should often be talked about I only grant that my message gives a bit of hope.
This is my story in association with mental health.
Let's start off with my beginning, shall we?
I was born out of wedlock in 1996, I was given away at 3 but adopted into the family, seen my bio father behind bars, visited by my bio mother twice a year or never. Brought up as the only child in the family that gave me hope. My dad's aunt and cousin whom I call nana and mum! Oh and my uncles, my father figures, and babysitters hahaha. BUT you probably already know that right. If not, there you go.
I believe I was a happy child, my family gave me everything. They nurtured and took care of me. Although, I also believed that I was a wounded child too. Don't know why but I just knew. When I acted up that really confused and frustrated me as a child. I would ask myself ... "why did I just say that ?", "Why am I hurting myself", "why are they calling me mental?", "Why the heck am I here ?", "God take me with you ", "I'm never going to be anything", "why aren't they helping me calm down". I'll even have fits, scream my head off or even try to die but I wouldn't get far cause deep down hope was saving me. Call me dramatic, but when you think about it, children know and feel everything !!! It's similar but different to what adults go through when they're upset. By the way, this is not said to put the blame on anyone, I am simply showing you that mentality is not affected or oppressed when you're old, children's mentality matters too. AND you're not protecting them if you're not talking about it with them, it'll just make it even worse. Let alone, they'll grow up without knowing how to self-regulate their emotions. Actually mental health affects all and it’s not one fits all.
Though, I don't blame my folks for not having the tools really, cause they weren't heard either.
Let's just say most of the time I felt lost, neglected, rejected, abandoned, ashamed, oppressed, suicidal, broken, blamed, burdened, and abnormal to everybody else. Whilst, also feeling loved, comforted, sheltered, spoilt, cared for, and nurtured for. BUT I knew that I couldn't be the only one feeling this type of way. For Polynesians or other cultures, it's a subject that is mostly hushed with money, swept under the carpet, unspoken, taboo or if you speak about it they don’t know what to do but avoid it. In saying so, it's okay not to be okay! And it's okay to seek help. Go for it. Do it for you, not for them, YOU! Find people who are also for you when you are feeling troubled.
Well...this is the part where I shed some light!
It is glory to God that I am able to say that I have been delivered and set free from these demons that controlled me while I was young. If you know you know, if you don't I only pray that you receive a revelation of what I just said. Yes, the anchor of my hope JESUS. Probably thinking oh no she became a Jesus freak, right I did!! He saved me, and He still does when I'm in trouble or in despair. Now... I am not saying that I don't deal with these types of emotions, of course, it still comes. We all walk through the valley of death. I still have tough, rough, stormy days. With all honesty, I find it a joy even when I'm sad to go through it cause I know that it is helping me build character, giving me wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and even more strength. I always say in these situations that I WILL GROW THROUGH IT. Everything that happens, you either learn from it or live with it.
God is my anchor of hope through it all, I hope he is for you. I mean He is for you and everyone. BUT if you are not for Him, then I hope that you find the tools, words, helpers, healers, peacemakers in the world that you trust are for you.
I only encourage that you find the courage and voice to share your pain with those you trust or professionally so that you receive the help you need. Speaking of help, I know that in a time of despair you wouldn't know what type of help you need or how to move forward. I am going to tell you that if you just stay and push through it will come and you will rise out of it.
And if you are someone that has people confiding and sharing with you about their mental health and entrusted you to share it so that you could help them from the help of others do so. Be ethical and respectful when sharing someone else's struggle that it doesn't affect the way people will see them or go against their character.
So where am I now?
I am in a healthy relationship, I am finishing off my degree, I am taking care of myself intuitively, I am talking about my mental health to those I trust and keeping aware of it, making every day count. I connect well with my family. There's more but I'll leave it from here.
Anyways, if you are going through some things and you need somebody to listen or talk to I am here if you need :)
Also, here are some links where you can seek help :
Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counselor.
Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP).
Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO).
Healthline – 0800 611 116
Samaritans – 0800 726 666
Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202 (to talk to a trained counselor about how you are feeling or to ask any questions).
Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat.
thelowdown.co.nz – or email team@thelowdown.co.nz or free text 5626
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